It finally happened. My toilet seat broke. As I was sitting on it. While I was doing my “business”.
Because of my quick reflexes and mostly because of my supple flexible ass-skin surface tension, disaster was averted.
There was just a loud “KLONK” as the toilet ring snapped cleanly in half like a shared donut. I dropped down about half an inch, shrugged then finished.
So that was 6 days ago. I had been placing the broken seat piece on the side of the toilet since lifting the seat was no longer an option. It actually wasn’t that bad.
I finally got around to buying a toilet seat today. Delayed by work, hunger pain and pure laziness, I eventually made my way to Home Depot. I had a chance to go to Home Depot the night before at 1AM but was too self conscious at walking around that time of night with a toilet seat. I was paranoid about being accosted by some ne’er do wells in the lot and mugged of my toilet seat.
To be continued….
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